Hello, all. We were recently contacted by a fan asking 4 simple questions for a school project to be done on us. They are as follows: Which instruments do you play and most enjoy? When you started music and how old you are now? How did you meet each other? What is your favorite song and why?
Here is our response:

Dear Grant Sheppard,
Thank you for taking the time to write us. We appreciate your interest in our band, it means a lot. What subject is this particular project for? As of late, such a wide array of school projects have been done on us that it’s hard to keep track. You should see the science project a grade 8 student in Botswana did on The Town Heroes – I didn’t know we had that much science in us! This reminds me. When I was in Jr. High, I did my grade 9 science project on “Making Ice At The Inverness Arena”. If I were to do it today I would have called it “Making Ice at the Inverness Arena”, withholding the capitals from both “At” and “The”. I built a model arena with popsicle sticks, straws, plastic figurines from my older brothers table hockey game, cardboard and properly painted red, blue and goal lines on it. It was, in essence, a microcosm of the Inverness Arena, minus the violence and incredibly tasty “Arena” fries (No fries like Arena Fries!). My dad was the rink manager at the time so I had all the inside information on the literal aspect of making ice at the Inverness arena. He told me information that, before then, was highly classified data that only an elite group of specially trained Zamboni Drivers and Skate Sharpeners had access to. I brought this information to the public forefront (Kind of like Watergate, but more important). When the town of Inverness saw this project at the local science fair, I opened up their eyes to something important, relevant and necessary. The people had the right to know. The general consensus was generally this: “I like hockey, I like arenas, I like ice… but, I never knew how the hockey arena got its ice. NOW I KNOW. THIS YOUNG BOY IS A GENIUS!”, and other positive statements as such. It felt pretty good, I’m not going to lie to you. I unearthed the answers to a dilemma that had plagued mankind since slightly before the invention of the Zamboni. I basked in the glory of my brilliance, living the life of luxury and the sensual delights that come with it. But, like everything in life, with the positive comes the negative. Soon, the Skate Sharpeners and Zamboni Drivers of the world united and were like, “what are you tryin’ to pull here, kid?” They compared me to the masked magician. Remember him? Probably not, I think I’m the only guy who does (It was a series on “Fox” where every week this guy in a mask would give away the secrets to a different popular magic trick. All the other magicians were beyond irate….. Great show). Anyways, I was just like, “Listen boyz, ya mess with me and ya mess with my old man… and he just happens to be ranked #1 on the coveted list of “Craziest and Crankiest Arena Managers in North America”… there’s a growing list of people who simply vanished of the face of the earth who only innocently asked him to sharpen their skates… so I DARE ya to try somethin’!” That shut them up pretty quickly. So Grant, the moral of this story is pretty clear and simple: work hard in school, pass your projects in on time and listen to your teachers.

Now, let’s get down to business and tackle those questions.
For me, I play Guitar, sing and a little piano. I wouldn’t call myself much of a piano player, but I did write “SOAP Sung In the Key of Love”, which is probably one of the best songs of 2006.
My favorite instrument is guitar because it was my first and the one that I play best. Bruce plays drums and a little guitar. He enjoys drums most because he’s been playing them his whole life (he’s also very good at rabbit and partridge hunting, if you, like I, consider the .22 an instrument). I started playing guitar when I was 13 and the first band I was in was at 17. To answer how old I am is somewhat difficult to convey. At heart, I feel like a spry 16 year old, ready to take on anything the world throws at me, but, at the same time, my body feels like I’m a little bit over the hill, like a 42 year old not sure where my best days have gone. I suppose in this case, the best way to give my bona fide age would be through straight up math: Add my mind’s age with my body’s age and divide by two: 16+42=58/2=29. Wait now… that is my actual age! Did I just derive a new scientific formula for age? Does this make me a scientist, Grant? Does it?

Bruce started playing music in his early teens and is 28 now. We met when an old band I was playing in moved from Cape Breton to Halifax and needed a new drummer. As the history books tell it, Bruce tried out and got the part. That was 7 years ago and that band has since broken up. Where does the time go?

Picking a favorite song is like picking a favorite family member. There are so many good ones out there so I usually just pick the one that isn’t currently giving me life advice and telling me I’m wasting my time being a musician. With this method in mind, my favorite song would be “Off He Goes” by Pearl Jam. I think it’s a really well written and personal song (personal is good), evocative, and I used to listen to it when I was a young chap like yourself, learning all there is to know about the world. So, it stuck with me because it was with me through some big changes and events in my life. Bruce’s favorite song is Nautical Disaster by The Tragically Hip because, in his words, “it’s well written and about true events”. It’s hard to go wrong with anything by either The Hip or Pearl Jam.

Well Grant, it’s been a pleasure. Once again, thanks so much for the interest in our band, we really mean it. We hope that this information can lead you to an A+, or a 30/30 or a 100%, or full marks on whatever specific grading system your teacher has chosen and will use for this particular project. Let us know if you need any more information, Grant. I hope the project goes well. Take care,
Mike

Dear Mr. Z,
How is it hanging, brother? It has been some time since we last talked. I understand that you were seeking my presence in the city of Austin, Texas in the previous week. I apologize for missing you this time, my man, but I was rather busy cooking Ham-burgers with Grilled Cheese Sandwiches as buns for some of my close acquaintances.

What an interesting series of events: you were busy when I sought your company in New York, and when you wanted the presence of one Michael Ryan at the renowned South by Southwest Festival, I was performing the important task of bringing my pals one step closer to heart-attacks. Laugh out loud, we’re quite the pair of best friends forever, wouldn’t you agree?

After pondering through a list of potential options for us to finally catch up, I thought of, what I believe to be, a most wonderful plan. If your upcoming summer isn’t turning into a most hectic few months, you should come to Cape Breton for vacation. The Inverness Gathering is going to be banging off the hook this year. Rumour is that Sam Moon will be playing the Pig n’ Whistle! Can you believe it?! The two of us will finally get to “rock out” to a large man in a Muumuu singing popular songs from the 1970’s! I will be sure to wear all of my best bling for that particular night. You could stay at my parents place. They have a pull-out couch in the basement – it’s not incredibly comfortable, but they won’t charge you anything and Ma makes an excellent bacon and eggs breakfast. I’ve given it two thumbs up on many occasions. Also, I could get her to make up those “Good Little Boy Cookies” that you often talk about and regularly crave. You could also possibly get a gig at the Hoff Pub and Grill while you’re here. It pays quite well in the summer (10 dollars a head and you keep the WHOLE door!) and it’s only a 4 minute and 12 second walk from my parents home on Hillcrest St. If the Hoff is already booked, I could probably get you on at the Fisherman’s picnic. A LOT of people will be there and if you play well, there is potential to sell a couple of your compact discs. This could be the career break you have been looking for. Also, if you want to obtain a lobster roll on this particular day, we will have to make sure to be there prior to 12 noon when they have, as the past has proved time and time again, sold out.

You’re probably quite interested in what is new with Bruce and myself. Well, we’ve been playing a lot, our new album will be finished in the upcoming months, I found nearly 3 dollars in the couch cushions in the doctors waiting room (I will be going there much more often now, rolling on the floor laughing my ass off), and Bruce finished reading Ashley MacIsaac’s biography which he started in 2003. Saint Patrick’s Day was also fun. Do you have any Irish ancestry in your blood? I’m ¼. You wouldn’t believe the warm weather we’ve been having here lately, my good friend. There is more potential “tail” floating around than at a 50 Cent concert! Just kidding… you are the best!
Well, that is it from me, dog. This summer will be quite fun. Holla in my general direction with any form of communication to let me know if your plans will coincide with mine and we will get together for some good times with great friends.

As always, your pal
Michael Ryan

Well, another year has come to pass. We got to play some pretty sweet showcases in Germany, The ECMAs, Canadian Music week, Nova Scotia Music Week, won a song-writing competition, played The Pop Explosion, Evolve, Estuary Fest, a tonne of shows and festivals all over the place and met a lot of cool bands and people along the way. Thanks so much for all the support, we appreciate it more than anything you can imagine. We’re pumped to work our arses of in 2012 and see how far we can take this. To celebrate 2011, we’ve made up a list of the year’s best. Here goes:

Man of the Year

This kid’s dad:


The ol’ man got him on the darts when he was 18 months old. Just look how cool the little fella is in that leather jacket and slinging the tiny little baby guitar… and how he spins the ciggy on his fingers like a seasoned pro. This kid is gonna be cool as old hell when he’s in grade 2 with a raspy old New Orleans blues man’s growl… and the only kid in the class who can speak knowledgeably about lung cancer. For givin’ the young fella a head start on coolness in the world, his father is, The Man of the Year.

Woman of the Year

This was a tough one. Both our moms were nominated. They can both bake like mother f&*$@ers and are really nice. When the votes were counted up, our Ma’s lost out to this girl. She cured polio.



Sandwich of the Year

We were in New Brunswick, driving home from a gig late at night. We were both hungry, NOTHING was open. With the impending threat of starvation approaching and the little strength that I did have leaving my helpless body, I muttered what I thought may have been my last words – “Man I’m starvin’!”. Bruce, equally famished, his driving skills now relying on pure memory, each twist and turn of the beaten down New Brunswick roads taken solely on the innate awareness of Canadian highways instilled into our brains by Tom Cochrane’s infamous hit, replied, “I think there’s a samwich in the cubby hole.” I looked. He wasn’t lying. We split the peanut butter and jam sandwich in half. It was the best/most rewarding sandwich of 2011.

Value Village of the Year

By far, the Sydney Value Village is the top of the league. Nowhere else in the world of thrift shopping can a man continually find pants with a 35-36 inch inseam for under 5 bones. They lose points for selling me winter boots that lost both soles during our first snowfall and made me walk home in the snow with the bottoms of my feet bare… but at least my ankles were warm.

Front Flipping Over Another Man While Landing on Your Feet in the End Zone to Score a Touchdown in American Football Award

I thought I had this one in the bank, but Bruce was too shaky on the camera and only caught the tail end of my entry into this popular category. We sorted through the thousands of possibilities and determined this to be the best.

That’s all for now. We have a new album that we’ll be releasing this year and lots and lots of fun times and travels ahead. Keep your sticks on the ice and go for the top shelf.
TTH

Dear NATALIE PORTMAN,
Hi Natalie, my name is Mike Ryan. You might know me from my band The Town Heroes, having the highest kick in eastern Canada ( I can send videos), or maybe from my younger days as the vice president of the Grade 12 Executive at Inverness Academy in 2001 when we sold suckers on Wednesdays and Fridays.

The reason I’m writing this letter is because my band is travelling to New York on December 9th to film a music video over a two day period. The song is titled “New York City” and will be highlighting landmarks and the people of the city. We’re pretty decent and have even played in places where we had to take planes to get there!

We’re just wondering if you’d be interested in being in our video. You don’t really have to do anything special, just act cool and look pretty. We can’t pay you much, but I make really good peanut butter and jam sandwiches so you’re welcome to as many of those as you want. As well, I’m currently single, so if you need anything “special” from the “Mike Ryan Department”, I suppose I could help you out in that area as well.

Well, that’s it for now. I don’t have a cell phone so you’ll have to call Bruce’s. If he sounds confused, don’t worry, he’s like that on phones. Can’t wait to see you in the Big Apple.

All the best,
Mike Ryan

Dear Mr. Z,

What is up, dog? My name is Mike Ryan and I play in the band, The Town Heroes, from Nova Scotia, Canada. We will be travelling to New York City, December 9th – 11th, to shoot a music video for our song, “New York City”. The song is a 2 minute, alt-rock ditty promoting the diversity of the great city. Our video will highlight landmarks of Manhattan as well as the people within it.

Our band (www.thetownheroes.com), has recently been voted by the President of Canada, Sidney Crosby, as the top musical duo of shinny players in ALL the country! Can you believe it? We were pretty excited too. So obviously, we’re pretty good.

Anyways, being the avid supporter of New York that we know you are, we were just wondering if you’d be interested in being in our video. All we ask from you is to take five minutes from your day to make a cameo appearance. This could really help your career. The Town Heroes are HUGE in places like Mabou, Glencoe and Yarmouth. Do this right and you could be too. Do you get what I am saying to you, dog? Also, if you could get Beyonce, Alicia Keys or any other attractive female to be in this video, we’d appreciate that too.

Word up Brother Z!
Your Brother from a different set of maternal genes,
Mike Ryan